the long road to ruin

I found out tonight that it is recommended that you share with people if you're training for a marathon, because then you are held accountable to people. I had originally written a blog to talk about the experience, but had decided against posting it because the blog got really sappy. It talked about hurt feelings from junior high track - the mean things teammates had said when I really sucked. I generally finished in last place at the 1 and 1.5 mile races...with the exception of when Athena would run (and she was 4 foot 1 inch tall). (Tangent: Athena sent out a thing today saying she is doing a Susan G. Komen 60 miles in 3 days fundraiser. Go Athena!)

Anyway, the point is, I am training to run a marathon and all you praying people please pray for inspiration. The first day of training really sucked and I felt God asking me over and over again "why are you doing this?" I feel like I have healthy reasons for wanting to do it: to fight gaining weight from the campo diet, because it is an awesome opportunity to run a marathon in Peru with other volunteers, and because I am happier/more productive when I am in better shape. But I have to check myself, make sure that it isn't to make up for all those hurtful words from 11 years ago that are still floating around in my head.

In general, I am more of a goofy-dance-in-the-dark kind of person. I would rather groove to some Earth, Wind and Fire or hop around for an hour to some Phoenix with no one to laugh at me but the good Lord. (And I'm pretty sure I've made God laugh quite a bit with my funky moves.) After a better run on Wednesday, I was dancing and singing some rap/R&B song in the campo with a farmer watching the whole scene (unbeknownst to me). Exercise becomes about how the music changes my heart, who comes to my mind, the ideas that form while I'm moving and have time to think. I like to wake up and decide that day what to do, how far to walk, jog, hike or ride. Nothing is mapped or planned ahead of time. Some days it is peaceful, prayerful. Other days, I'm surprised by what ends up happening, leaving me delighted at the end of it all wondering “where did that come from?” And God uses that to take me to new places, to show me life in new ways...to teach me how to walk more closely together. I learn how to love myself in ways that wouldn't impress anyone, but seem to make me and God smile together. So, I'm taking this marathon thing one day at a time.

I ran into these verses (no pun intended) that will help me to keep running in perspective:

Jeremiah 17:5-8 (New International Reader's Version)

5 The Lord says,
"Those who trust in man are under my curse.
They depend on human strength.
Their hearts turn away from me.
6 They will be like a bush in a dry and empty land.
They will not enjoy success when it comes.
They will live in dry places in the desert.
It is a land of salt where no one else lives.


7 "But I will bless any man who trusts in me.
I will show my favor to the one who depends on me.
8 He will be like a tree that is planted near water.
It sends out its roots beside a stream.
It is not afraid when heat comes.
Its leaves are always green.
It does not worry when there is no rain.
It always bears fruit."