Transition into Teach For America

I haven't updated this blog in over a year. I've had the best of intentions, but every time it comes to mind I push away the thought. Recently, I've been reflecting more on my Peace Corps service. I went back to my blog today and read my last post. I had forgotten what a devastated state I was in when I wrote that last post. I had worked so hard on my final projects and the community's next to last response left me broken. Then two weeks later, I returned to Corral de Arena for a final goodbye along with my mom and sister. The entire community came out for the party and it was healing to see so many people that I loved.

A year and three months later, I look back on the experience quite differently. I think less about all of the times I cried, wanted to curl up and just have someone carry me home. What I remember is my last days in site with my entire community showing up to say goodbye, eating cabrito con menestra (goat and beans with rice) and dancing always with one of my students running to hold my hand. I remember my host mom crying as she hugged me and asking me for forgiveness for the two years of judgement and biting words. All of the hardship and painful moments along with the euphoric experiences have over time molded together into this precious, invaluable part of me that I hold close to my heart.

This year, I joined Teach for America - a non-profit in the United States that sends Corps members to work in low-income communities for two years. I live and work on the border of two small towns, Avondale and Goodyear, southwest of Phoenix, Arizona. After Peace Corps, this has been a luxurious living arrangement. I have a toilet, running water, INTERNET!! The transition as a whole hasn't been perfect. Peace Corps was much more laid back. In Peace Corps, I made my own schedule and decided exactly how I would spend my time. With teaching, I don't have as much freedom with the content that I teach, whereas in Peace Corps I taught community leadership skills, sexual education, self-esteem, debate, the history of hip hop, and environmental education. Although, I have to admit, being a high school math teacher is a whole lot more fun than I would have expected. We play lots of games on small dry-erase boards. The classroom is much different for these students than it was for us - for better or worse. "You're supposed to entertain us!" was once shouted at me. "I'm not a comedian. I'm a math teacher."

After 8 months of living here, the roots are beginning to take hold and new fruit is beginning to emerge. The learning curve is very steep - how to make rules and get people to actually follow them, getting students excited to work (or at least work anyway), grading, tutoring, learning how to do math so that I can teach it. Here are a few things that I have learned:

1. I am quick to beat myself up, listing all of the "you should have's" and "what if's..." and compare myself to others.

2. I can love students with all of my heart and soul, but that does not guarantee they will love themselves or care about my class.

3. There are 10th graders who do not know 2 times 3 by memory. They count this on their fingers.

4. Some students would subsist on learning new things if their bodies could function that way. Others, would rather drop out and be a street sweeper. #grandmasterflash

5. Teenagers look like adults, act like children and are more complicated than any of the math concepts we'll cover in class.

6. If someone looks at their crotch and laughs, they're texting.

7. More kids will come to tutoring if you're willing to dance and give them candy.

8. Pencils will not be returned.

9. Bring a healthy lunch or buy bigger pants.

10. More students come from broken homes and go without food than I anticipated. Most students will not open up about these problems to many people.

11. Paraprofessionals are da-bomb.com. (These are class helpers who are experts at working with students with learning disabilities.)

12. Being silly is a necessary ingredient to a good day. Funny glasses. Catch phrases (Oh, Snap!). Singing. Robot voice. Faces. Shouting.

13. Coffee, coffee, coffee. Detox. A little more coffee.

14. Bring what you care about with you to the classroom. Be yourself.

15. Don't just teach your subject. Teach them what it means to be a human being whose heart breaks for those who suffer around the world and ache for an end world hunger, poverty and injustice.