Hope you all take my words with a grain of salt. I'm just some Jesus-loving ragamuffin trying to figure things out, nothing more.
I've been training for the Peace Corps marathon for many weeks at this point. My last run was the 12-miler, a big mark for me. Not only was it the longest run I've ever accomplished, but I did it in Sincape which is hilly when I've been training on flat ground. The view was stunning. I could see the rolling hills in the early morning hours every time I reached a peak. The hills were not as hard to take as I had anticipated. I finished it in 1 hour 25 minutes, a very good time for my abilities. But for the last 5 or so days since that run, I have been limping around in pain, walking like an old person. I should probably be stretching more, running more intensely throughout the week. I could take my speed up a notch or two. Truthfully, if I did all of those things, I probably wouldn't be training in the first place.
I'm a girl that once said, "why run unless someone is chasing you?". It dumbfounds me how I'm even here. The question doesn't just apply to running, but my life. How did this girl from Texas, raised by Lloyd and Gina get here: in Peru, running 'til I'm limping, living with people who are often overlooked and left to themselves, here with a heart for Jesus and deep desires for things that have been said to be far from him. My faith, my walk with Christ, me trying to do what is best and helpful with this life of mine is a lot like training for this marathon. I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing. It sure seems a lot easier to do when I'm just thinking about it. On paper, decisions are easy. I know what is best, where I should go, what I should do. I felt like I had it pretty much figured out. Peace Corps. Possibly get married with grand signals from the heavens to tell me who. Go to seminary in Denver. Move to Guadalajara or some place like it. Start an intentional community. I'm not sure if you all can relate to those kinds of feelings of certainty. It is kind humbling when possibilities get more complicated.
I'm reading "The Last Lecture", a book about a professor who participated in the last lecture series as if he was going to die, but this professor actually was going to die. I found myself thinking the other day about what I would want to have done when I die. I started a prayer to God. "I just hope that I can say I sacrificed enough". Before I could say the word sacrifice, I could feel God interrupt my prayer with a verse from Matthew: "I desire mercy, not sacrifice".
I get so stressed out about every step I take in life, so completely crippled by the fear of screwing up. I almost quit training for the marathon for the same reason. The first week, I had to walk within the first mile. I ended my runs so very angry at myself, beating myself up for not looking like Dani or Carolyn when they ran. (These girls were doing 10 miles before the real schedule even started.) My fat legs rubbed together. I was breathing heavy almost immediately, feeling pain in my side. I felt God asking me over and over again "why are you doing this?" It echoed in my head over and over. "Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this?" When my answer became about improving me for me and not for others, my runs got easier. I let myself walk when I needed to. I cut the runs during the week when necessary and took the long runs easy.
It was when I started to think of my runs in terms of who I am, finding my stride, that I actually could say that I was a twelve mile runner. Running isn't easy. When I do it, it certainly isn't pretty. In fact, I usually start out wobbly and limping. But that Lord is reminding me that it is about doing it. My running and my faith aren't theoretical. They aren't comfortable ideas that I can simply imagine working well it my head. But my feet are on the pavement. I'm doing it. And that is the only way I'm going to be able to do anything.
P.S. This blog is being written in the lovely city of Chachapoyas. So incredibly beautiful. I'm not sure there would have been a better way for God to show us how great we are loved than this earth we've been given and the people we enjoy it with. If you come to Peru, you should definitely check out Chachapoyas, aka the poor man's Machu Picchu.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Peru 16, how I love thee. Let me count the ways.
Last week was Early In Service Training (Early IST). We spent the week in Tina's sight of Chongoyape and visited the animal reserve Chaparri, home to a Peruvian bear that makes nests in trees. I hadn't seen all of my friends from training since the end of November when we swore-in together. We didn't get to have all 70-something of us together for safety reasons, but all the environment volunteers were together again. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I was en route to meet them. We had such an amazing experience together in training. Let me tell you, environment volunteers know how to have a good time. We spent the better part of the week making jokes and drinking cold beer after a long day of work. Brock had just left, decided to go home and work on the farm. Tina printed a picture of his bearded face and put it on a Barbie doll with a yellow dress. He came with us everywhere, taking photos of Brock eating lunch with us, looking in the mirror, hanging out with the bears.
Eliot decided to quote famous lines of American movies in Spanish. There is that scene in "Anchorman" where Will Ferrel's character is trying to woo Miss Veronica Corningston by working out and he says something like "1001, 1002...oh, I was just doing my arms and back. It's boring, but it's part of my life." And so, all week long, people were walking around quoting it: "Es aburrido, pero es parte de mi vida". It became so popular that people worked it into their diagnostic reports. Each time someone would creatively slip in the phrase, we would crack up, which confused the boss man. After John's presentation, he put a poster up that was making fun of Tina for being old. She's actually only 27 and isn't the oldest person in Peru 16, but has become the brunt of a running joke about her being ancient. The picture included her drinking some Fiber Max, watching Matlock while reading a Reader's Digest featuring Agatha Christy, getting ready for bed at 5:30, thinking about how she wished FDR could run again. Hilarious!
There was a mustache competition among the boy volunteers. Our boss Diego has this mustache that has been a part of him for over 20 years (never shaving it off). In his thick accent, he explains that men should have a mustache because "keeeesing a woman without a mustache is like eating an egg without salt" All the boys of our group showed up with all sorts of funny facial hair, all sorts of mustaches. On the last day, Diego judged the competition. Losers were pounded with water balloons. And then we all joined in on the fun. Everyone got soaked!
For April Fool's Day, we decided to play a prank on Diego. (And he got us back with the water balloon attack.) I suggested that we talk to the local jail in Chongoyape and get them to "arrest" a couple of volunteers and Diego having to come to the rescue. We got the PC doctor, Jorge, and the safety and security guy, Enrique, involved. They kept Diego calm. Our coordinator, Brian, called him and told him that volunteers Boy Alex and Ali were found them drunk in the dark, passed out...naked from the waist down. He asked him to go straight to the jail. Diego was there within 2 minutes! He was furious, and he said it all with just his face. We all came out yelling "April Fool's". It took him a few minutes to realize it was a joke. He thought we were just happy to see him there to rescue our friends. The best part was how into it the police were. They hand-cuffed Ali and brought out guns, loading them and waving them around. That part was kinda scary. But they all were so giggly. I would have to say it was a sucessful application of Goal 2: bringing the U.S. to Peru.
We had a good among of downtime to drink on the roof of our hostel, go to the river, dance in Chiclayo. The last night on the roof Ali and Patrick were beatboxing while Eliot and Hobo Alex took turns free-stylin'. Impressive. Even more incredible was Hobo Alex sharing the slam poetry he writes with us. We were all blown away by the power of his words, the rhythms, his passions expressed so brilliantly. Alex talked about his his travels, his vibrant way of living, the pain of love and a critic of the necessity of diplomas and higher education. He left us speechless. All we could manage to say was thank you. After the week of training, we went to a club in Chiclayo and danced until at least 3 in the morning, some until much later. The club put on an "hora loca" (clowns on stilts) around 2 and dropped confetti on the crowd at 2:45. I hadn't cut loose like that in Peru before in terms of dancing.
So, Peru 16, I love you all. Thank you for a wonderful week. You guys are such an amazing group, and I'm proud to call myself a 16-er.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Sha na na na na na hey hey Lambayeque eh eh
Sooo many things happening all at once. I can't really write about them all. The big thing is that early in-service training starts tomorrow. I have to go home and do laundry and be ready to leave for more than a week (thinking I'll just re-wear some clothes to save on space and time). Who is gonna really care if I smell anyway? I've been frantically finishing my community diagnostic this week. It's a report on my community - what it is like, what needs to be done, what I can possibly do in the next two years. Yeah. Kinda intimidating. Nevertheless, I'm excited to say that I've pretty much finished the report and just need to make some signs for my presentation.
I've got about 10 possible projects in mind. I'm trying to use my creativity and passions to make projects my own. I want to do an "Ama Tu Peru" campaign modeled after "Don't Mess With Texas". The campaign will focus on the various aspects of trash management. I want to coordinate with volunteers to put on events, radio shows, and paint murals to spread the word. Maybe people will think twice about littering or burning their trash. Only time will tell. We did the first part of this campaign in a radio spot (have I mentioned I'm on the radio twice a month as of now?). The Olmos girls have a radio program. A couple weeks ago, I issued a challenged to the Olmos girls to write songs about trash using popular music (i.e. raggaeton and Shakira).
Sara Lev, Sara Bulla and I wrote this song to the tune of "Tu Angelito soy yo" entitled "La Basurita de Yo" (the little trash of mine). The song talked about a guy who was eating an ice cream in the park and then threw the trash on the ground when he was done. I sang that song on the radio and it was tough. The song is at a fast pace, but I think it worked out nicely. People said they could understand us clearly. Then my song gets interrupted with a song sung by Sara Bulla and written by the lovely Sara Lev. We took the Waka Waka song from Shakira and Sara Lev made it about caring for the earth and the different ways you should or shouldn't dispose of trash. The "Waka Waka eh eh" was changed to "Lambayeque eh eh". And "this time for Afrika" was changed to "porque es tu pais" (because this is your country). My favorite line was about how you shouldn't burn trash because it will give you cancer "hey oh". Haha. Hilarious. Not the cancer part. The "hey oh" just cracks me up every time.
And Sara Bulla tore it up on the radio as one would expect. Bulla means louds in Spanish, and she had just the right voice and enthusiasm for the job.
I'm still running. I can call myself a six mile runner, hopefully I'm be close to a 9 mile runner tomorrow. I didn't train very hard this week with all the stress...not to mention we found out no one is in charge of planning the marathon. There isn't a volunteer in Pacasmayo anymore. I am pushing for us to put one on in Olmos. Carolyn and Dani want to do the half marathon in Lima scheduled for May. We shall see. I kinda like the idea of doing a marathon just before my 25th birthday. I ain't old yet. And we could maybe even make it an "envirothon". I just learned of this word today.
I had some great moments in my community this month. It is starting to feel like home and I miss it when I'm gone. I've been traveling a lot this month for anniversary celebrations and visits to the capital to get things done...like try to find out if I have a parasite. Only in Peace Corps could the sentence be uttered "oh, I think I'll go drop of my poop and then catch a movie" without anyone batting an eye.
Keep me in your prayers as I make some important decisions this year. Here is a link to the Waka Waka video. This song just makes my day. Hopefully we can make a music video with our environmental, Peru version.
I've got about 10 possible projects in mind. I'm trying to use my creativity and passions to make projects my own. I want to do an "Ama Tu Peru" campaign modeled after "Don't Mess With Texas". The campaign will focus on the various aspects of trash management. I want to coordinate with volunteers to put on events, radio shows, and paint murals to spread the word. Maybe people will think twice about littering or burning their trash. Only time will tell. We did the first part of this campaign in a radio spot (have I mentioned I'm on the radio twice a month as of now?). The Olmos girls have a radio program. A couple weeks ago, I issued a challenged to the Olmos girls to write songs about trash using popular music (i.e. raggaeton and Shakira).
Sara Lev, Sara Bulla and I wrote this song to the tune of "Tu Angelito soy yo" entitled "La Basurita de Yo" (the little trash of mine). The song talked about a guy who was eating an ice cream in the park and then threw the trash on the ground when he was done. I sang that song on the radio and it was tough. The song is at a fast pace, but I think it worked out nicely. People said they could understand us clearly. Then my song gets interrupted with a song sung by Sara Bulla and written by the lovely Sara Lev. We took the Waka Waka song from Shakira and Sara Lev made it about caring for the earth and the different ways you should or shouldn't dispose of trash. The "Waka Waka eh eh" was changed to "Lambayeque eh eh". And "this time for Afrika" was changed to "porque es tu pais" (because this is your country). My favorite line was about how you shouldn't burn trash because it will give you cancer "hey oh". Haha. Hilarious. Not the cancer part. The "hey oh" just cracks me up every time.
And Sara Bulla tore it up on the radio as one would expect. Bulla means louds in Spanish, and she had just the right voice and enthusiasm for the job.
I'm still running. I can call myself a six mile runner, hopefully I'm be close to a 9 mile runner tomorrow. I didn't train very hard this week with all the stress...not to mention we found out no one is in charge of planning the marathon. There isn't a volunteer in Pacasmayo anymore. I am pushing for us to put one on in Olmos. Carolyn and Dani want to do the half marathon in Lima scheduled for May. We shall see. I kinda like the idea of doing a marathon just before my 25th birthday. I ain't old yet. And we could maybe even make it an "envirothon". I just learned of this word today.
I had some great moments in my community this month. It is starting to feel like home and I miss it when I'm gone. I've been traveling a lot this month for anniversary celebrations and visits to the capital to get things done...like try to find out if I have a parasite. Only in Peace Corps could the sentence be uttered "oh, I think I'll go drop of my poop and then catch a movie" without anyone batting an eye.
Keep me in your prayers as I make some important decisions this year. Here is a link to the Waka Waka video. This song just makes my day. Hopefully we can make a music video with our environmental, Peru version.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
the long road to ruin
I found out tonight that it is recommended that you share with people if you're training for a marathon, because then you are held accountable to people. I had originally written a blog to talk about the experience, but had decided against posting it because the blog got really sappy. It talked about hurt feelings from junior high track - the mean things teammates had said when I really sucked. I generally finished in last place at the 1 and 1.5 mile races...with the exception of when Athena would run (and she was 4 foot 1 inch tall). (Tangent: Athena sent out a thing today saying she is doing a Susan G. Komen 60 miles in 3 days fundraiser. Go Athena!)
Anyway, the point is, I am training to run a marathon and all you praying people please pray for inspiration. The first day of training really sucked and I felt God asking me over and over again "why are you doing this?" I feel like I have healthy reasons for wanting to do it: to fight gaining weight from the campo diet, because it is an awesome opportunity to run a marathon in Peru with other volunteers, and because I am happier/more productive when I am in better shape. But I have to check myself, make sure that it isn't to make up for all those hurtful words from 11 years ago that are still floating around in my head.
In general, I am more of a goofy-dance-in-the-dark kind of person. I would rather groove to some Earth, Wind and Fire or hop around for an hour to some Phoenix with no one to laugh at me but the good Lord. (And I'm pretty sure I've made God laugh quite a bit with my funky moves.) After a better run on Wednesday, I was dancing and singing some rap/R&B song in the campo with a farmer watching the whole scene (unbeknownst to me). Exercise becomes about how the music changes my heart, who comes to my mind, the ideas that form while I'm moving and have time to think. I like to wake up and decide that day what to do, how far to walk, jog, hike or ride. Nothing is mapped or planned ahead of time. Some days it is peaceful, prayerful. Other days, I'm surprised by what ends up happening, leaving me delighted at the end of it all wondering “where did that come from?” And God uses that to take me to new places, to show me life in new ways...to teach me how to walk more closely together. I learn how to love myself in ways that wouldn't impress anyone, but seem to make me and God smile together. So, I'm taking this marathon thing one day at a time.
I ran into these verses (no pun intended) that will help me to keep running in perspective:
Jeremiah 17:5-8 (New International Reader's Version)
5 The Lord says,
"Those who trust in man are under my curse.
They depend on human strength.
Their hearts turn away from me.
6 They will be like a bush in a dry and empty land.
They will not enjoy success when it comes.
They will live in dry places in the desert.
It is a land of salt where no one else lives.
7 "But I will bless any man who trusts in me.
I will show my favor to the one who depends on me.
8 He will be like a tree that is planted near water.
It sends out its roots beside a stream.
It is not afraid when heat comes.
Its leaves are always green.
It does not worry when there is no rain.
It always bears fruit."
Anyway, the point is, I am training to run a marathon and all you praying people please pray for inspiration. The first day of training really sucked and I felt God asking me over and over again "why are you doing this?" I feel like I have healthy reasons for wanting to do it: to fight gaining weight from the campo diet, because it is an awesome opportunity to run a marathon in Peru with other volunteers, and because I am happier/more productive when I am in better shape. But I have to check myself, make sure that it isn't to make up for all those hurtful words from 11 years ago that are still floating around in my head.
In general, I am more of a goofy-dance-in-the-dark kind of person. I would rather groove to some Earth, Wind and Fire or hop around for an hour to some Phoenix with no one to laugh at me but the good Lord. (And I'm pretty sure I've made God laugh quite a bit with my funky moves.) After a better run on Wednesday, I was dancing and singing some rap/R&B song in the campo with a farmer watching the whole scene (unbeknownst to me). Exercise becomes about how the music changes my heart, who comes to my mind, the ideas that form while I'm moving and have time to think. I like to wake up and decide that day what to do, how far to walk, jog, hike or ride. Nothing is mapped or planned ahead of time. Some days it is peaceful, prayerful. Other days, I'm surprised by what ends up happening, leaving me delighted at the end of it all wondering “where did that come from?” And God uses that to take me to new places, to show me life in new ways...to teach me how to walk more closely together. I learn how to love myself in ways that wouldn't impress anyone, but seem to make me and God smile together. So, I'm taking this marathon thing one day at a time.
I ran into these verses (no pun intended) that will help me to keep running in perspective:
Jeremiah 17:5-8 (New International Reader's Version)
5 The Lord says,
"Those who trust in man are under my curse.
They depend on human strength.
Their hearts turn away from me.
6 They will be like a bush in a dry and empty land.
They will not enjoy success when it comes.
They will live in dry places in the desert.
It is a land of salt where no one else lives.
7 "But I will bless any man who trusts in me.
I will show my favor to the one who depends on me.
8 He will be like a tree that is planted near water.
It sends out its roots beside a stream.
It is not afraid when heat comes.
Its leaves are always green.
It does not worry when there is no rain.
It always bears fruit."
Saturday, March 5, 2011
The Olmos Crew is awesome. Exhibit A:
Subject: PLEASE particiPLATE muahahahahhaa
Hello All BEAUTIFUL OLMOS folk :-)
Hope the sun is shinning brightly in your life today. Or, as Sara
Liben has just informed me, I hope your sky is full of clouds. I am
sitting here with the lovely Terraca and Sara and we have designed a
Stupendous Event that all of Olmos volunteers are FORMALLY invited to
participate in.....
"I DOMINATED the FUCK out of that SANDWICH" Competition
Olmos, Lambayeque, Peru, March 20 2011.
Confused Enough?? Dear Reader let US enlighten YOu about the events
that are about to unfold before your very eyeballs.
the WHO: **Panel of Judges: Dani Reuter, Sebastian and Rosa
Lopez (Sarah's host siblings), and special guest...straight from
Chiclayo mismo....the MIKE REED
**The Iron Chefs: Lisa Melendy, Sara Lev,
Therasa Hill, Caroline Booth, Sarah Bulla, Speare Hodges, John
Rohrback
the WHEN: Sunday March 20: Competition Starts at 12 pm (arrive
earlier to prepare yourself). ATTENTION: judges try to arrive as close
to 12 as possible in order to eliminate biases...aka this is a blind
food competition.
the WHERE: The judging will take place at My lovely, bachlorette
abode. Be prepared to share Kitchen space.
the WHAT: We have only ONE rule: that is all ingredients
that are to be used for the sandwiches can ONLY come from your
site/Olmos/or Chiclayo.
All chefs must let me know if they are going
to be needing a cocina ASAP (no later than regional meeting).
I have utensils and plates here but seeing
as presentation is 25% of the score, prepare to bring stuff from your
own site to spice up your presentation. You will be presenting one
sandwich to the judges for tasting (that will be cut and distributed
between the four judges) and enough supplies to able to prepare 2
additional sandwiches for AFTER the competition.
Rubric:
*Presentation: 1-5 points
*Originality: 1-5 points
*SABOR: 1-10 points
Otras NOtaS: You can prepare a hot OR cold sanwich, however NO
hamburgers (we will consider this other level of competition at a
later date). Don't forget to include a creative title (that will be
apart of the judging). If you wish to change your status in the
competition or cannot participate PLEASE let me know ASAP. Just let me
know as soon as possible if you can make it. OJO: We need more chefs
than judges.
LET THE PLATE CREATING.....BEGINNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!
lotta love,
the creators of this Sandwich Paloooooza
Hello All BEAUTIFUL OLMOS folk :-)
Hope the sun is shinning brightly in your life today. Or, as Sara
Liben has just informed me, I hope your sky is full of clouds. I am
sitting here with the lovely Terraca and Sara and we have designed a
Stupendous Event that all of Olmos volunteers are FORMALLY invited to
participate in.....
"I DOMINATED the FUCK out of that SANDWICH" Competition
Olmos, Lambayeque, Peru, March 20 2011.
Confused Enough?? Dear Reader let US enlighten YOu about the events
that are about to unfold before your very eyeballs.
the WHO: **Panel of Judges: Dani Reuter, Sebastian and Rosa
Lopez (Sarah's host siblings), and special guest...straight from
Chiclayo mismo....the MIKE REED
**The Iron Chefs: Lisa Melendy, Sara Lev,
Therasa Hill, Caroline Booth, Sarah Bulla, Speare Hodges, John
Rohrback
the WHEN: Sunday March 20: Competition Starts at 12 pm (arrive
earlier to prepare yourself). ATTENTION: judges try to arrive as close
to 12 as possible in order to eliminate biases...aka this is a blind
food competition.
the WHERE: The judging will take place at My lovely, bachlorette
abode. Be prepared to share Kitchen space.
the WHAT: We have only ONE rule: that is all ingredients
that are to be used for the sandwiches can ONLY come from your
site/Olmos/or Chiclayo.
All chefs must let me know if they are going
to be needing a cocina ASAP (no later than regional meeting).
I have utensils and plates here but seeing
as presentation is 25% of the score, prepare to bring stuff from your
own site to spice up your presentation. You will be presenting one
sandwich to the judges for tasting (that will be cut and distributed
between the four judges) and enough supplies to able to prepare 2
additional sandwiches for AFTER the competition.
Rubric:
*Presentation: 1-5 points
*Originality: 1-5 points
*SABOR: 1-10 points
Otras NOtaS: You can prepare a hot OR cold sanwich, however NO
hamburgers (we will consider this other level of competition at a
later date). Don't forget to include a creative title (that will be
apart of the judging). If you wish to change your status in the
competition or cannot participate PLEASE let me know ASAP. Just let me
know as soon as possible if you can make it. OJO: We need more chefs
than judges.
LET THE PLATE CREATING.....BEGINNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!
lotta love,
the creators of this Sandwich Paloooooza
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Shame on me: a tale of verguenza
Verguenza - the spanish word for shame or embarrassment. Shhh shhh shame on me. I'll cut to the story. Me on stage at a big concert in Olmos, after a few pisco sours, trying to rip the shirt off of the lead singer of Corazon Cerrano and then his backup singer. He was frightened. Smiling with an assursed look that I could be trusted, I yelled "let me" in English I believe I recall. How did I get there?
It was a week before when I was finishing summer school. The world map wasn't yet finished. Sara Lev. came to my site to help me draw in the rest of the countries. After the junior high and some high school kids would draw, it would be so off that I would have to correct almost everything they drew. This added up to over 40 hours of my time outside of working on it during class. I was at the point where I could no longer find the patience or motivation to move forward. Seeing how inaccurate it all was and trying to draw it all myself was just too much. I needed a helper. God bless you, Sara Lev.
Throughout the week, we finished painting the mural and did projects. Each of my three classes was required to complete a community project around the theme of the environment to get a certificate for my class. The younger two classes picked up trashed, particularly broken glass, around the community and worked in the organic farm. I laughed pretty hard when my 1st through 3rd graders were trying to lift pitchforks, shovels, and pickaxes that weighed more than they did. My 4th and 5th graders were more helpful. I had warned them to watched for snakes as the people who owned the field had killed a snake that morning. While the kids were turning the dirt, a skinny poisinous snake slithered out the around the legs of my students as the screamed and leaped away from it. The farmer partially chopped off its head quickly, but one of my best students tried to touch the moving head. A couple days later when they were doing their trash pickup, I screamed snake. Hay una culebra!!! And they all started screaming the running again. I died laughing. I really had them going.
My high school class decided to do recycling promotion and teaching about the importance of not burning trash. I was impressed with their enthusiasm to give door to door presentations (5 minutes or less) at each house. For students who probably had never given presentations before, they were pretty good. They struggled to not get frustrated with one another for messing up parts and talking amongst themselves insteading of paying attention to the mom of the house. I was just so proud of them for their willingness to take on such a big project and with sincere conviction for the environment and health of their community and families.
I had a day before the clausura, which is kind of like a mini graduation from my summer school classes. Girl's night with the Olmos crew was exciting. I needed to cut loose and summer school was over. Projects had been completed. Many projects, many rice and potato meals, many outdoor showers later, I was ready to get a little crazy with the girls. This past month, the volunteers in the Olmos area have had three girl's night, each of which were incredibly uplifting and a much needed break from campo life. Girl's nights consist of lots of ice cream, dancing, drinking, the pollo a la braza place, and more food. This last girl's night was planned to coincide with a big carnival evening in Olmos with all sorts of food venders, a farriswheel, and a concert from a very well known Peruvian band called Corazon Cerrano. I went up for the girl's night and had just finished the last of my summer school classes I taught. Between the satisfaction of the completion of an incredible summer school experience, the atmosphere of the carnival and the amazingness of girl's night, I was estatic. We all were bouncing around. We bought a aerobics Shakira's Africa.
Then we went to the concert. We went where you would expect - front and center, right at the bottom of the stage. We all danced like maniacs. At one point, I start admiring the shirts the band is wearing. It is just like the kind of shirt I have been trying to buy for weeks, light-weight with two front pockets that button. I told Sara I wanted the shirt. And then I jumped on stage, started dancing with the lead singer and tried to rip his shirt off of him. He was terrified. Then two other girls joined me on the stage for a dance around. I tried to rip a shirt off of anothe band member, still without success. The crowd cheered us all on and the band didn't seem to mind us dancing so long as I stopped trying to take shirts off their backs. I'm kind of a celebrity in Olmos now and some people in my town have mentioned being at the concert, hinting with smirks on their faces to my dancing. They made a dvd and Carolyn said there is a track that is completely dedicated to my appearance. A bit of verguenza...although I'm kind of shocked by my own boldness.
That led up to our clausura. I got to say a few words about every student as they accepted their certificate. I got choked up for a few, two in particular really got to me. One was this kickass girl who joined our class for just the last two weeks. Her brothers had been in my classes the whole time and star students. But she blew everyone out of the water with her knowledge, maturity and enthusiasm. She wants to be a missionary for the Catholic church and get a high college degree to be a leader. I can't waitto see how we can work together.
The second girl that really touched my heart was this high school girl who tested my patience everyday. I kicked her out of class for having an attitude and went back to house to ask her back. She came back only to test my patience day after day for the remainder of classes. But the week of the projects she got really excited initiating the grand projects for high school and passionately yelling at group members for not getting their parts right. She didn't handle things perfectly, but she really gave a damn, even pushing us to meet on Sunday to stretch out classes (meeting early and leaving late) to reach more people.
Then I left for Lima and three glorious days of eating whatever I wanted that day. Mediterranean food. Sushi. A Dunkin donut. Oreo milkshake. Yummy yummy sandwich time. Appetizing appetizers at the U.S. Ambassador's house. Beer. Soda that tasted like pancakes. Mini waffles. Yogurt. Beer and pisco sours. Meeting up with my tech trainer Moni who let me be the first PCV to know she is having a baby!!! We went to an amazing juice place where we ran into the famous female boxer, Kina. She was being followed around by a guy with a huge camera pointed at her the whole time she was just trying to get some juice.
At the Ambassador's house, I met former President of Peru, Toledo. He was the one to invited Peace Corps to return to Peru. When he was a kid, he had a volunteer in his house and a few encouraged him to study at Stanford. I told him that my mayor loved him. He asked me where and I said Corral de Arena, Olmos. He had recently made an appearance in Olmos and knew immediately where I was talking about. I told him that my mayor and I hoped that he would win and that we needed landfills in Olmos; the trash problem is horrible. Landfills for the caserios are needed. He gave me a look like "really, you're gonna bring this up at the cocktail party?" Maybe he'll remember it after he wins. Apparently he is leading in the polls with around 60 percent of the projected votes.
I've had a lovely "vacation", enjoying the luxuries of big city life. Today I was reading Rob Bell's book, Drops Like Stars. It talks about the art of suffering - how suffering makes us better; it helps us to fill alive. I am so grateful that I got to cutloose and have so many delightful experiences, but it also helped me to see how alive I felt in the middle of all my pain. Those moments when I'm praying in the dark, hurt and unsure of what will happen next. I think I am going to train for the marathon though I don't really believe I am capable of it if I'm being completely honest. I don't like pushing myself like that.
I was running to the beach in Lima, thinking about the times this past week when I could have made better decisions. I could have eaten less, worked-out more, acted more appropriately in public. I jogged to a rock walk out thingy on the ocean and was giving myself a pretty hard time when this wave slammed so hard against the rocks that it startled me and silenced my thoughts immediately. I felt God shutting me up. I felt God tell me just how much I underestimated the unstoppable power of my God. And then I watched that being said over and over again as wave after wave beat upon the rocks with nothing that could stop it. How much stronger is this god over mine, and yet I have so little faith in God's ability to change me - to completely transform me in good time.
It was a week before when I was finishing summer school. The world map wasn't yet finished. Sara Lev. came to my site to help me draw in the rest of the countries. After the junior high and some high school kids would draw, it would be so off that I would have to correct almost everything they drew. This added up to over 40 hours of my time outside of working on it during class. I was at the point where I could no longer find the patience or motivation to move forward. Seeing how inaccurate it all was and trying to draw it all myself was just too much. I needed a helper. God bless you, Sara Lev.
Throughout the week, we finished painting the mural and did projects. Each of my three classes was required to complete a community project around the theme of the environment to get a certificate for my class. The younger two classes picked up trashed, particularly broken glass, around the community and worked in the organic farm. I laughed pretty hard when my 1st through 3rd graders were trying to lift pitchforks, shovels, and pickaxes that weighed more than they did. My 4th and 5th graders were more helpful. I had warned them to watched for snakes as the people who owned the field had killed a snake that morning. While the kids were turning the dirt, a skinny poisinous snake slithered out the around the legs of my students as the screamed and leaped away from it. The farmer partially chopped off its head quickly, but one of my best students tried to touch the moving head. A couple days later when they were doing their trash pickup, I screamed snake. Hay una culebra!!! And they all started screaming the running again. I died laughing. I really had them going.
My high school class decided to do recycling promotion and teaching about the importance of not burning trash. I was impressed with their enthusiasm to give door to door presentations (5 minutes or less) at each house. For students who probably had never given presentations before, they were pretty good. They struggled to not get frustrated with one another for messing up parts and talking amongst themselves insteading of paying attention to the mom of the house. I was just so proud of them for their willingness to take on such a big project and with sincere conviction for the environment and health of their community and families.
I had a day before the clausura, which is kind of like a mini graduation from my summer school classes. Girl's night with the Olmos crew was exciting. I needed to cut loose and summer school was over. Projects had been completed. Many projects, many rice and potato meals, many outdoor showers later, I was ready to get a little crazy with the girls. This past month, the volunteers in the Olmos area have had three girl's night, each of which were incredibly uplifting and a much needed break from campo life. Girl's nights consist of lots of ice cream, dancing, drinking, the pollo a la braza place, and more food. This last girl's night was planned to coincide with a big carnival evening in Olmos with all sorts of food venders, a farriswheel, and a concert from a very well known Peruvian band called Corazon Cerrano. I went up for the girl's night and had just finished the last of my summer school classes I taught. Between the satisfaction of the completion of an incredible summer school experience, the atmosphere of the carnival and the amazingness of girl's night, I was estatic. We all were bouncing around. We bought a aerobics Shakira's Africa.
Then we went to the concert. We went where you would expect - front and center, right at the bottom of the stage. We all danced like maniacs. At one point, I start admiring the shirts the band is wearing. It is just like the kind of shirt I have been trying to buy for weeks, light-weight with two front pockets that button. I told Sara I wanted the shirt. And then I jumped on stage, started dancing with the lead singer and tried to rip his shirt off of him. He was terrified. Then two other girls joined me on the stage for a dance around. I tried to rip a shirt off of anothe band member, still without success. The crowd cheered us all on and the band didn't seem to mind us dancing so long as I stopped trying to take shirts off their backs. I'm kind of a celebrity in Olmos now and some people in my town have mentioned being at the concert, hinting with smirks on their faces to my dancing. They made a dvd and Carolyn said there is a track that is completely dedicated to my appearance. A bit of verguenza...although I'm kind of shocked by my own boldness.
That led up to our clausura. I got to say a few words about every student as they accepted their certificate. I got choked up for a few, two in particular really got to me. One was this kickass girl who joined our class for just the last two weeks. Her brothers had been in my classes the whole time and star students. But she blew everyone out of the water with her knowledge, maturity and enthusiasm. She wants to be a missionary for the Catholic church and get a high college degree to be a leader. I can't waitto see how we can work together.
The second girl that really touched my heart was this high school girl who tested my patience everyday. I kicked her out of class for having an attitude and went back to house to ask her back. She came back only to test my patience day after day for the remainder of classes. But the week of the projects she got really excited initiating the grand projects for high school and passionately yelling at group members for not getting their parts right. She didn't handle things perfectly, but she really gave a damn, even pushing us to meet on Sunday to stretch out classes (meeting early and leaving late) to reach more people.
Then I left for Lima and three glorious days of eating whatever I wanted that day. Mediterranean food. Sushi. A Dunkin donut. Oreo milkshake. Yummy yummy sandwich time. Appetizing appetizers at the U.S. Ambassador's house. Beer. Soda that tasted like pancakes. Mini waffles. Yogurt. Beer and pisco sours. Meeting up with my tech trainer Moni who let me be the first PCV to know she is having a baby!!! We went to an amazing juice place where we ran into the famous female boxer, Kina. She was being followed around by a guy with a huge camera pointed at her the whole time she was just trying to get some juice.
At the Ambassador's house, I met former President of Peru, Toledo. He was the one to invited Peace Corps to return to Peru. When he was a kid, he had a volunteer in his house and a few encouraged him to study at Stanford. I told him that my mayor loved him. He asked me where and I said Corral de Arena, Olmos. He had recently made an appearance in Olmos and knew immediately where I was talking about. I told him that my mayor and I hoped that he would win and that we needed landfills in Olmos; the trash problem is horrible. Landfills for the caserios are needed. He gave me a look like "really, you're gonna bring this up at the cocktail party?" Maybe he'll remember it after he wins. Apparently he is leading in the polls with around 60 percent of the projected votes.
I've had a lovely "vacation", enjoying the luxuries of big city life. Today I was reading Rob Bell's book, Drops Like Stars. It talks about the art of suffering - how suffering makes us better; it helps us to fill alive. I am so grateful that I got to cutloose and have so many delightful experiences, but it also helped me to see how alive I felt in the middle of all my pain. Those moments when I'm praying in the dark, hurt and unsure of what will happen next. I think I am going to train for the marathon though I don't really believe I am capable of it if I'm being completely honest. I don't like pushing myself like that.
I was running to the beach in Lima, thinking about the times this past week when I could have made better decisions. I could have eaten less, worked-out more, acted more appropriately in public. I jogged to a rock walk out thingy on the ocean and was giving myself a pretty hard time when this wave slammed so hard against the rocks that it startled me and silenced my thoughts immediately. I felt God shutting me up. I felt God tell me just how much I underestimated the unstoppable power of my God. And then I watched that being said over and over again as wave after wave beat upon the rocks with nothing that could stop it. How much stronger is this god over mine, and yet I have so little faith in God's ability to change me - to completely transform me in good time.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Dancin' In The Dark
Since I last blogged, here are some things that have happened in my life:
I climbed the mountains near my house (mountains to me, hills to Peruvians)...and fell down a large slab of rock on the mountain side. Luckily, I didn't break any bones, but it scared me. I screamed as I slid way too fast. I don't know if it was this slide or the others that ripped the back of my pants open in three places. It became clear real quick that this route was not a good choice for the class hike.
My host brother started a bar at my house which was a really bad situation – lots of super drunk Peruvian men several nights a week. One day, I was doing my laundry, listening to Feist and watching a man throw-up all over himself and our table and chair. The music would be way too loud, with men way too drunk. My comments of disapproval didn't make an impact until one night when the music and a married man hitting on me put me over the edge. No, my name is not “California”. I will not bring you another beer, and you cannot snap your fingers at me. Please don't tell me that you respect me, that you have four children and then follow it up with how pretty my face is. I told my host family that I couldn't live with the bar at the house. My host brother said he'd move the bar, but it led to a while when I didn't know if I was really more important to them than the business. The drinks kept being served and I just got more umcomfortable. One night I lost it when I could hear the music at my house from the school and came home to a combi, a truck and a moto with a large, loud drinking circle. I cried so hard that my body was exhausted the next day.
Update to that situation is that I am still planning to live here. My host brother has said he has for sure moved the business. He called me his sister. :) My host Mom, however, is moving for 8 months and taking my 5 year-old brother (my favorite thing in Peru). The plus side is that means I get to cook many meals for myself, which means lots of granola, cereal, yogurt, veggies and fruits! My real Mom is in Long Island for the month helping fill the staff at the airport.
Summer classes are going pretty well. We're still painting the mural. I have to correct half of what gets drawn. I'm trying to remind myself it isn't about having a map, but a mural the kids can say they accomplished. We hiked up part of the mountain/hill. They yelled and ran around pointing out all the parts of town, how small things looked from far up. Supposedly they saw a mountain lion. My host brother, Edwin, says he saw it too. I'm convinced it was actually a sandy-colored rock. We also went to the organic charca (farm), hopped around in the fields and picked fresh fruit and veggies. This week, we went to the zoo – an animal refuge for wild animals that were sold on the black market - monkeys, crocodiles from Tumbes, lots of birds and a fox. It's also the only place in the world that knows how to reproduce the Pava Aliblanca (a species of bird that lives in the dry forest and headed towards extension) in captivity.
This month was definitely my hardest month. The excitement of being on an adventure in another country had worn off and I was just lonely. I lost my camera, had a Peace Corps projector stop working properly in my possession and a laptop cord stop working (no cord, no computer time). And then I got sick again. And then again. (I think I'm up to 5 or 6 times on antibiotics in 5 months.) I went back and forth from thinking my family loved me to thinking they just would rather I leave so they could make money with their new bar. I wasn't sure if my host Mom even liked me as a person. I kept getting served meals to eat alone at the dinner table outside. One night, I cried while I ate my dinner alone. I've been exercising, but my waistline continues to grow. A diet of mostly rice and potatoes isn't helping.
But even in the midst of what seemed to be quickly becoming a very bleak situation, I dove into prayer, and taking hope in the words of Paul – to live is Christ and to die is gain! Exhausted from this world, from crying, from a poor diet, I would repeat to myself the promise I have in Christ: Jesus died on the cross to pay for my sin, and rose from the dead so that I might live. And in those moments this month when I didn't feel like I could be certain of anything else, I said that promise to myself over and over again. I knew for sure that Jesus had died and rose again so that I might live. Something I had before said with a slight hesitation comforted me, gave me hope that there is more to live for than what this life has to offer. The gift of faith couldn't have come at a better time.
I'm not sure what God has for me to do in the future, where I'll be in two or three years. But I know that I take this truth with me everywhere I go. My spirit wants to shout this truth in the plaza, in the market, to hold someone's hand and softly share those comforting words. Paul, who has been the apostle I've really struggled with – traditional interpretations of his letters – has been the one I have related to the most recently. I read his letters and they speak to my heart from a radical place. I understand the desire to go and proclaim the good news to all people. And I realize that this could get me in trouble as a Peace Corps volunteer. They told me I can't go around preaching this message. Surely the love of Christ is something that needs no words. I am going to blaze a passionate fire for Christ whether I try to or not. Even with all my sins, complaining about others being the big one right now, the message of Christ beams from my heart. To live is Christ. To die is gain.
...Since I initially typed up this blog, I had a dance party in my room. I was listening to the Phoenix album for the first time and thought I have to dance! I danced around my room like a goofball for the whole album and tried to think of silly dance moves I can make the girls at summer camp do next week. The next night when I crawled into bed, there were all of these dead ants in the bed. I couldn't figure out why and then I remembered the dance party in the dark. Apparently I had stomped them all to death. On a related note, clean sheets are amazing.
I climbed the mountains near my house (mountains to me, hills to Peruvians)...and fell down a large slab of rock on the mountain side. Luckily, I didn't break any bones, but it scared me. I screamed as I slid way too fast. I don't know if it was this slide or the others that ripped the back of my pants open in three places. It became clear real quick that this route was not a good choice for the class hike.
My host brother started a bar at my house which was a really bad situation – lots of super drunk Peruvian men several nights a week. One day, I was doing my laundry, listening to Feist and watching a man throw-up all over himself and our table and chair. The music would be way too loud, with men way too drunk. My comments of disapproval didn't make an impact until one night when the music and a married man hitting on me put me over the edge. No, my name is not “California”. I will not bring you another beer, and you cannot snap your fingers at me. Please don't tell me that you respect me, that you have four children and then follow it up with how pretty my face is. I told my host family that I couldn't live with the bar at the house. My host brother said he'd move the bar, but it led to a while when I didn't know if I was really more important to them than the business. The drinks kept being served and I just got more umcomfortable. One night I lost it when I could hear the music at my house from the school and came home to a combi, a truck and a moto with a large, loud drinking circle. I cried so hard that my body was exhausted the next day.
Update to that situation is that I am still planning to live here. My host brother has said he has for sure moved the business. He called me his sister. :) My host Mom, however, is moving for 8 months and taking my 5 year-old brother (my favorite thing in Peru). The plus side is that means I get to cook many meals for myself, which means lots of granola, cereal, yogurt, veggies and fruits! My real Mom is in Long Island for the month helping fill the staff at the airport.
Summer classes are going pretty well. We're still painting the mural. I have to correct half of what gets drawn. I'm trying to remind myself it isn't about having a map, but a mural the kids can say they accomplished. We hiked up part of the mountain/hill. They yelled and ran around pointing out all the parts of town, how small things looked from far up. Supposedly they saw a mountain lion. My host brother, Edwin, says he saw it too. I'm convinced it was actually a sandy-colored rock. We also went to the organic charca (farm), hopped around in the fields and picked fresh fruit and veggies. This week, we went to the zoo – an animal refuge for wild animals that were sold on the black market - monkeys, crocodiles from Tumbes, lots of birds and a fox. It's also the only place in the world that knows how to reproduce the Pava Aliblanca (a species of bird that lives in the dry forest and headed towards extension) in captivity.
This month was definitely my hardest month. The excitement of being on an adventure in another country had worn off and I was just lonely. I lost my camera, had a Peace Corps projector stop working properly in my possession and a laptop cord stop working (no cord, no computer time). And then I got sick again. And then again. (I think I'm up to 5 or 6 times on antibiotics in 5 months.) I went back and forth from thinking my family loved me to thinking they just would rather I leave so they could make money with their new bar. I wasn't sure if my host Mom even liked me as a person. I kept getting served meals to eat alone at the dinner table outside. One night, I cried while I ate my dinner alone. I've been exercising, but my waistline continues to grow. A diet of mostly rice and potatoes isn't helping.
But even in the midst of what seemed to be quickly becoming a very bleak situation, I dove into prayer, and taking hope in the words of Paul – to live is Christ and to die is gain! Exhausted from this world, from crying, from a poor diet, I would repeat to myself the promise I have in Christ: Jesus died on the cross to pay for my sin, and rose from the dead so that I might live. And in those moments this month when I didn't feel like I could be certain of anything else, I said that promise to myself over and over again. I knew for sure that Jesus had died and rose again so that I might live. Something I had before said with a slight hesitation comforted me, gave me hope that there is more to live for than what this life has to offer. The gift of faith couldn't have come at a better time.
I'm not sure what God has for me to do in the future, where I'll be in two or three years. But I know that I take this truth with me everywhere I go. My spirit wants to shout this truth in the plaza, in the market, to hold someone's hand and softly share those comforting words. Paul, who has been the apostle I've really struggled with – traditional interpretations of his letters – has been the one I have related to the most recently. I read his letters and they speak to my heart from a radical place. I understand the desire to go and proclaim the good news to all people. And I realize that this could get me in trouble as a Peace Corps volunteer. They told me I can't go around preaching this message. Surely the love of Christ is something that needs no words. I am going to blaze a passionate fire for Christ whether I try to or not. Even with all my sins, complaining about others being the big one right now, the message of Christ beams from my heart. To live is Christ. To die is gain.
...Since I initially typed up this blog, I had a dance party in my room. I was listening to the Phoenix album for the first time and thought I have to dance! I danced around my room like a goofball for the whole album and tried to think of silly dance moves I can make the girls at summer camp do next week. The next night when I crawled into bed, there were all of these dead ants in the bed. I couldn't figure out why and then I remembered the dance party in the dark. Apparently I had stomped them all to death. On a related note, clean sheets are amazing.
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